I'm feeling guilty

It seems that my absorption into endless activity has me engaging only in a reflective and inward thought world. Changing work schedules, which necessitates the changing of other times to fulfill other commitments, keeps me on my toes and away from the computer. I started out working three days a week 10 am to 1 pm. Then it turned into two separate jobs, the second running from 1 pm to 4 pm on random days in the week. This was changed to 3 pm to 6 pm five days a week, then 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday, then to 7:30 am to 12:30 pm for five days! My head is spinning just typing this. Well I've gotten through those weeks. Now I'm back to 3 pm to 6 pm five days a week, which means my second job, which thank God is flexible, will have to be done in the mornings instead of the afternoons.
Most of my thoughts are centered around my desire for spiritual growth, maturity, and advancement in service....but not the service I get myself into on my own. I don't have that kind of time (relative to my age) to just do anything. I want what God wants for me. I've got to stop wasting my energies and gifts in areas God has not called me to. I want to be an effective witness for Him to my neighbors, friends, family, anyone that God puts in my path....or into whose path God plops me. But I am not a good conversationalist. I'm not an outgoing person on my own and draw a blank when it comes to striking up a conversation about God. I've been praying for boldness and power, love, but especially WORDS! Jesus told His disciples not to worry about what they were going to say...that the Holy Spirit would give them the words to speak at the right time. So, either it's not the right time, or I'm missing it completely, or.... I don't know. I've got to keep putting myself and all my faults that need correction and perfecting into God's hands, the Potter. I need to trust He will continue the work He's begun in me and give me what I need for the moment. I don't want to mess up what He's doing in me or anyone else by barging ahead on my own steam saying and doing the wrong thing that will only prolong the progress He's desiring in us.